PUPPY VOCABULARY
Face massage = live worms (especially after a bath)
Full body massage = anything rotting on the ground including vomit spots and areas where you previously pooped
Bath = something to be avoided at all costs ~ be sure to get a massage after
Zoomies = a great way to body check those you love especially after a bath
Toilet = self filling water dish
Dog food = birdseed, people food, baby food, some poop (frozen poopsicles in the winter)
Delicacy = tulips, rose bushes, tree bark, dirt clods, newspaper, magazines
Smorgasbord = compost pile
Desert dish = cat liltter box, rabbit litter box
Food in bowl = air ~ to be inhaled in the same fashion
Mom's animal slippers = humping toy
Chew toys = dentures, blanket for dog bed, fingers, clothes and shoes, gloves, children's toys
Self propelled toys = cats and small children (they're even better when they try to run away)
Tug toys = my sister's tail, lips, ears and Mom's animal slippers
Dog bed = clean laundry, couch, human's favourite chair, human's lap, big plant outside the back door, anywhere in particular you want to be
Bathroom = flower beds, indoor carpets, plastic fake grass
Not a bathroom = great big green lawn, newspaper (feel free to go next to them on the sidewalk or flooring)
Bad, very very bad = safety gates, leashes, collars
Human making snow angels = time to bury a human
Crying baby = someone to sing along with
Refrigerator = a god that is to be worshipped and sat in front of several times throughout the day, even if no one is in the kitchen
Kitchen cupboards = see refridgerator
No! = my shadow's name, every time I hear it, she's there
Victoria
