PUPPY VOCABULARY
Flower bed = toilet
Tulip = delicacy
Rose bush = see tulip
Tree bark = see tulip
Newspaper = not a toilet; see tulip
Cats = self propelled toys
Mom's fingers and clothes = the best chew toys money can buy
Refrigerator = a god that is to be worshipped and sat in front of many, many times throughout the day, even if no one is in the kitchen
Food in bowl = air ~ to be inhaled in the same fashion
Blanket for bed = chew toy
Big plant outside the back door = bed
Great big green lawn = not a toilet
Newspaper = something to go potty next to
Dirt clod = see tulip
Compost Pile = smorgasbord
Small children = litter mates (it's even better when they try to run away)
Crying baby = someone to sing a duet with
Safety gates = bad, very bad
Leash = see safety gate
Collar = see safety gate
Puppy Toys = not as fun as baby toys
Couch = dog bed
Human's favorite chair = see couch
Human's lap = see couch
Anywhere in particular that you want to be = see couch
Toilet = water dish
Cat litter box = candy store
Birdseed = dog food
People food = see birdseed
Baby food = see birdseed
Fake plastic Easter grass = same as outdoor grass
Outdoor grass = toilet
My new brothers tail = tug toy
My new brothers chest = tug toy
My new brothers lips and ears = tug toy
No! = my shadow's name, every time I hear it, he's there
Author Unknown
